they shoot horses, don't they?

THEATRE REVIEW: War Horse

"War Horse," a 2007 play by Nick Stafford adapted from the children's novel by Michael Morpurgo, wants to be a lot of things. It wants to be massive and impressive, it wants to be heartwarming and touching - but, most tellingly, it wants to be important. And, in all fairness, "War Horse" will probably be looked back upon in years to come as a benchmark for what could be accomplished on the stage, in the same league as the 1812 Overture and its climatic volley of cannon fire.

The central character of "War Horse" is - surprise - a horse named Joey, who changes hands several times over the course of the two-and-a-half hour play. The story begins with Joey being bought an auction in Ireland in a rash decision by the drunkard Ted Narracott (Colin Mace), much to the chagrin of his wife (Bronagh Gallagher). Joey is left in the care of their son, Albert (Kit Harington), who nurtures and cares for the animal until he is full grown. When WWI breaks out, Ted, tempted by the promise of one hundred pounds, sells Joey to the army, where he passes through the ownership of a number of British soldiers before ending up with a German officer (Patrick O'Kane, sporting possibly the worst German accent this side of the 21st century). All the while, Albert pines away for Joey and finally decides to join the army and bring him home himself.

Credit must be given where credit is due: "War Horse" is a technical marvel. Joey and the other horses are stunningly realistic life-sized puppets, controlled by three actors whose movements and sounds are never anything less than perfect, and watching these animals move across the stage and interact with the human actors is magnetic. The play is constantly populated with other similar effects: geese and birds find their way onto the stage quite often, and lights are used to harrowing effect to illustrate asides between characters and immense battle scenes alike.

But if the direction is admirable, the writing is anything but - and it all but ruins the show. The story itself is almost impossible to buy: a boy so in love with a horse ("We'll be together forever," he whispers to Joey in one particularly eye roll-worthy scene) that he leaves home and joins the army for four years in order to bring him home. Replace the horse with, say, a girl, and you have nothing more than a typical love-knows-no-boundaries story. It doesn't help that the individual scenes are riddled with cliches and hackneyed dialogue, and the human characters never really rise above stereotypes: a naive farm boy who learns firsthand the horrors of war; his alcoholic father and harsh but well-meaning mother; a brash, foul-mouthed drill sergeant; an officer who wants nothing more than to just get back to his wife and daughter. And many of the effects, though eye-popping at first - such as the instance of an enormous tank which rolls on stage at one point - do little to advance or deepen the story, making them seem show-offy and gimmicky. Strip away the technical accomplishment of the play - or even just stand back from it - and there is little left. It's "Ben Hur" for the West End.

The play's biggest failing lies in that it asks us to place our attention in a horse - to see it as a character, as real and significant as any human. But however technically amazing he is, Joey obviously lacks anything resembling character development. He starts in fright when a gun is fired and strains when is made to plough for the first time. In short, Joey behaves exactly like any other horse, and has nothing to offer which sets him apart. The play banks on the audience sympathizing with Joey simply because he is a horse, and for no other reason. For a story so hell-bent on touching the audience's hearts, it feels cheap and half-baked.

It is true that a horrifying number of horses died in WWI: statistics vary, though some say between five and six million. But sixteen million men - more than twice that number - were killed, twenty-one million were wounded, and the world was introduced to the horrors of the trenches and chemical warfare. And in light of those sobering numbers, it's kind of difficult to care about what is, in essence, little more than a love story between a boy and a horse.

War Horse score: 30